Author Archives: tbs2539

I’ll be in hospital at least another week. With ECT therapy on Wednedsay and DSM therapy starting during week. Not overjoyed but my goal remains to stay in remission so whatever it takes. I will have to be vigilant to ensure I can do this.

I have come a long way since arriving in hospital a week ago. ECT has turneded my life around almost instantaneously. A week ago I was suicididal, agitated and at the end of my mental rope. Thankfully despite COVID19 I was able to get into hospital and onto the ECT programme almost straightwaway. Forever gratefulContinue reading “A week in hospital”

Another day in hospital starts early before 6 with ECT (look it up). I am having this therapy early in the morning. If you want to know more look up Electro Cunvulsive Therapy. It’s too hard to explain. It has really helped me so far. Other group therapies are good too. This week COVID restrictionsContinue reading “Hospital”

Yesterday I was hit by fatigue. Not just hit punched. If I’d ever had chronic fatugue I would say that’s what it is but I can’t say that because I don’t know what chronic fatigue is like. It is so bad that after doing something I have to go and have a lie down toContinue reading “Fatigue”

As each day passes the numbers of positive Covid 19 positive cases increases. It’s easy to feel uneasy. Easy to feel impatient wanting it all to go away. Unfortunately it’s not going to go away just yet and some are predicting months til restrctions can be lifted. I can’t say I’m used to it butContinue reading “This too shall pass.”

Day 8 of isolation. This morning there were a few tears of frustration due to insomnia. It’s not surprising. I have been operating on a tiny amount of quality sleep for at least two weeks now so when I went to wash up it all became a bit too much and the tears flowed. IContinue reading “Tears of Frustration”

You would’ve noticed it’s been many days since I last wrote in my online journal. Today is the first day of a new chapter hopefully not the last. We left home early March for a holiday in New Zealand. Before we left I was unwell. I was managing to participate is some activies but onContinue reading “A New Chapter in the Journal”

Unfortunately it has not all been smooth sailing since I came home from hospital. Anxiety has returned and I find myself struggling to fight it off but I’m not going to let it get the better of me. I’m doing an online course via Mindspot.org.au and it’s helping. Recently it talked about avoidance how peopleContinue reading “Still Learning”

Home. Happy to be here present in the moment. Some not unexpected anxious thoughts to acknowledge and let go. Constantly telling myself to be kind to myself. It’s not a race, more one foot in front of the other. Feeling incredibly tired but trying not to think of this negatively rather I’m just adapting toContinue reading “Home”

Good news I can go home on Friday. I’m looking forward to seeing Bawley Point in all it’s glory. Returning to the place I have called home for the past 35 years is something to look forward too. Hugging family and friends, swimming in the ocean, the bush both burnt and green, the birds andContinue reading “Good News”