Yesterday and today I have felt very fragile. Apart from the obvivous depression and anxiety I have not had much of a clue why some days are worse than others and on those days I can fall to bits. Just like the ocean critter a Brittle Star. Did you know that a Brittle Star which is not a starfish is named for the ease with which their arms break off when touched. The amazing thing is they can regrow the broken arm. These animals, known collectively as ophioroids, are also called serpent stars (ophis means snake in Greek) because their long arms resemble serpents. Apparently there are 2,100 species of Brittle Stars living in our oceans.
Anyway, for some odd reason I thought of myself as a Brittle Star today. An animal that can lose a limb and grow it back again. I can have days that make me feel very brittle but I’ll repair myself.
Resilience is a word we have heard over and over in recent times. Typically defined as the capacity to recover from difficult life events. I constantly have to remind myself that despite my down days I can regenerate.
The most frustrating part of my depression journey so far is having to wait so long, nearly three weeks for a bed in a psychiatric hospital. I suppose I’ll have to remind myself of all the Brittle Stars we have in our oceans.
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