Another early start after a broken night’s sleep. Here I am ready to face another day. Yesterday I had another good day however I am still concerned about my moods. They’re cycling up and down every three to four hours which coincides with when I take my medication. I’m trying to deal with it but I don’t want it to be a permanent part of my day. I’m getting better but I’m not at my best. I long for that time to come. It’s hard waiting.
I think I’m managing the dips in the mood better than I was. I have daily routines that keep me going and I’m using Mindfulness when I can to help through the low spots. I think some changes in medication is necessary. I will talk to my specialist.
See-saws along with swings were playground favourites of mine. The thrill of being up high was addictive something I really enjoyed. The bumpy landing on the see-saw sometimes filled me with dread. Most of the time it was a soft landing except when I had a person on the other end who loved to hear me protest or even cry about a hard landing.
This morning I’m reflecting on how far I’ve come in a month because I’m feeling a bit despondent. I am impatient to be well. I want to be the person I was before the end of September. When I look back I see good things have happened. I no longer spend most of the day in bed in a darkened room. I no longer shun food and I no longer avoid interacting with other people. I go to yoga, the gym, and aqua aerobics because I know how important exercise is for the body and the mind. All of these are big achievements.
I need to look at the positives and pat myself on the back often. My concentration has improved as well. A month ago I wasn’t reading, not even a paper. Now I can sit down and read a book. Sometimes I lose the plot due to wavering concentration but I plod on through the text like it’s some kind of challenge. I’ve also started sewing again. I had a few anxious moments in the process but I’ve stuck at it. I enjoy it and I will eventually have something that will remind me of how determined I am to see a project through to the end. Quilters talk often of having UFOS referring to all their unfinished objects. I don’t like having unfinished quilt projects.
A month ago writing did not even cross my mind. Now I write every day. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll run out of puff if I’ll be able to churn out my thoughts daily. At the moment I enjoy it. I look forward to my morning writing session. It is of itself another healing therapy. How long will it continue is unknown.
A month ago when I became unwell I rarely listened to music. Except for the occasional meditative, relaxation music. Now there is not one quilting session without music. Yesterday it was The Beatles The White album followed by the best of The Rolling Stones. Dancing around to The Rolling Stones and trying to cut a straight line in fabric was good fun.
It was hard to pick just one track. This one is a favourite of mine. I hope you enjoy the Rolling Stones therapy.
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