It’s 4:25am I’m up I can’t go back to sleep. I’m worrying about quilting. I’m worrying about measurements of quilt squares and how many squares I’ll need to make a single bed quilt. Everything in quilting is in inches. I’m worried about wasting fabric. I’m worried about the possibility I’ll have to buy more fabric. I’m worried. I’m anxious. I’m trying to convince myself it’ll work out in the end. Just sew and find out I tell myself.
When I was growing up Dad always said you had to have a plan. He was a perfectionist. He wasn’t comfortable without a plan. Dad loved to tell people what to do and give them a plan that he had devised. Even if they didn’t want it he gave it to them anyaway because as he would explain his plan was the best one. He used to say, “ten bob and I’ll organise.” I think it must have been a common saying in those days. Dad used it a lot. I think I’m not being unkind by saying he was a control freak.
The word bob was sometimes used for the monetary value of several shillings. Back before decimalisation which started in Australia on the 15th February 1971 I remember finding threepences and sixpences in my Nana’s Christmas pudding. We were never allowed to keep them because Nana recycled the coins. She would hide them away in a jar so she could carefully tuck them into next year’s pudding. Nana must have known decimalisation was coming. Her coin recycling continued past 1971 to keep the Christmas pudding tradition alive. I wonder where those coins are now? Nana’s Christmas lunch was legendary. I loved my mum’s mum, my Nana.
I don’t think I’m a perfectionist like my father but a little of that has rubbed off on to me. I do believe I am a person who wears their heart on their sleeve. If you wear your heart on your sleeve, you openly show your feelings or emotions rather than keeping them hidden. I’m one of those people.
Why else would I share my journal writing with others? Exposing my inner feelings for all to see. It’s because I care. I care about myself and I care about others. I’m doing it for a reason. I want my readers to have a better understanding of mental health diagnoses and I want to nurture in others feelings of compassion towards people who do have mental health disorders.
I’m struggling a bit here for words. Is it too early to be writing? I’m not sure. It’s more likely because here I have come to a point where I want to write about a value close to my heart. Compassion. If someone shows kindness, caring, and a willingness to help others, they’re showing compassion. This is a word for a very positive emotion that has to do with being thoughtful and decent.
Compassion is one of my core values. Compassion means temporarily suspending judgment so that you can appreciate others’ perspectives or situations when they are different from your own. To be compassionate you need to be genuinely concerned about the other person or people’s needs. I’ve written about Compassion back in 2016. I think I cried writing it. If I can work out how to share it again I will.
Compassion is the ability to feel for another living being. Empathy is the ability to not only understand another’s feelings but also to become one with that person’s distress… to put yourself in their shoes and imagine what they’re going through in that situation.
I write for myself and for others because I think mental health disorders are one of the least understood health issues. It’s not as easy to explain as a broken limb. It’s often hidden and is frequently misunderstood by people who have not experienced it themselves or had close exposure to it.
Money for mental health support services is grossly underfunded, especially in the public health sector. I’ve heard too many harrowing stories from people who have been badly treated in the public system. Rural and remote communities are badly catered for by government agencies and people who don’t have the ability to pay for private mental health facilities often find no place to go to at all.
I wear my heart on my sleeve, exposing my true emotions and making myself vulnerable by letting it all hangout. I wear my heart on my sleeve because I want you to feel for people with mental health issues and I want you to show some empathy towards them. If just one person benefits from my writing I consider that mission accomplished.
The owl spirit animal is said to represent a deep connection that you share with wisdom, good judgment, and knowledge. The owl also possesses insight and feeling. I took the first photo at the Kuala Lumpur Bird Park Malaysia. I was allowed to touch some of the owls and have my photo taken with them. A wonderful experience.
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