Over the last two days, I’ve been off-task, agitated and anxious. I couldn’t concentrate. I wasn’t remembering what I was doing or thinking. I was out of kilter, off-balance. It was, I imagined like having my brain being gnawed by insatiable white ants. Bees too were buzzing in my head. I thought maybe the inside of my brain looks like a honeycomb. I jumped around all day from the laptop to the sewing machine to reading a book. Making little progress with any of these tasks and not much sense of anything. I couldn’t stay in one place for long.
On Friday I forgot to take my medication. When I was in town getting some money a the ATM it swallowed my credit card. I had muddled up the cards and their pins. I knew my anxiety was starting to rocket out of control so I tried very hard not to panic. All I had to do was ring the bank when I got home. Going home I was trying to drag my focus onto driving safely. At the same time panic was bubbling away in the background.
By the time I arrived home I was at peak levelsof anxiety. I was screaming about my predicament. I contacted the bank with Dave’s help. Unfortunately, I gave the very helpful woman the wrong information and both cards were canceled. It was then I fell apart!
All the white ants and bees were in a frenzy now. Dave (the voice of reason) calmed me down. There will be two new pins and two new cards in the post. However, all those agencies and services that I pay for with the canceled cards will have to be contacted. More alarm bells ringing very loudly in my head. “It’s okay,” Dave says “We’ll deal with it when the new cards come.” Again the voice of reason. I had to go and lay down.
I am learning some good lessons though. I need to put Mindfulness into practice and use calming techniques frequently. I must do it. No doubt most of you have heard of Mindfulness. It helps you to focus on what you are doing and it calms the mind. It is the voice of reason. Rather than me trying to explain it. The Black Dog Institute has this to say about Mindfulness.
Click to access mindfulnessineverdaylife.pdf
There are many resources online about Mindfulness.
I hope it helps. I’m going to lay down and listen to some calming music.
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