I visited my psychologist yesterday. We had a fruitful discussion. There were a few tears of frustration on my part. All due to my thinking here I am again talking with my psychologist. Distressed that the Black Dog has made yet another appearance in my life not long after the previous episode. Why me! Please give me a break I thought. Our conversation continued with another discussion about SMART goals. I’ve listened to talks about SMART goals in hospital therapy sessions. It was good time to revisit them.
I’m so very tired when depressed, my thinking is muddled, restless and illogical and my anxiety spikes quickly. I need SMART goals to stay calm, step back and breathe and most importantly I need SMART goals so I can function.
Let me try and explain as briefly as I can what SMART goals are and how they can be used. SMART is an acronym that stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely. A SMART goal incorporates all of these criteria to help focus your efforts and increase the chances of achieving a specific goal. In my case, I use SMART goals to help clamber out of the dangerous black hole I find myself in. A SMART goal helps me to feel a sense of achievement and more importantly more positive. It’s one tool that works for me.
I’ve had episodes of depression for more than 20 years. More recently I’ve been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Bipolar disorder can have extreme moods of feeling really high, very active and euphoric (‘manic’); or feeling really low (‘depression‘). Bipolar disorder is a chronic mental health condition. It has strong changes in mood and energy. … manic or hypomanic episodes. Bipolar disorder needs long-term management, which may include medication and psychological therapies. Bipolar disorder affects how we are able to function. I do get severely depressed and have had short-lived periods of mania elevation. In an episode of mania, I feel amazing, creative, energised but in the long term, these highs and lows are not helpful.
I’ve been so depressed I couldn’t get out of bed, not even to shower. I knew I had to have a shower, it became a specific goal. Finally, over time I managed a daily shower. It was not easy but I did it, a measurable goal. I could do it so it was achievable. It helps if you really focus on being mindful of the whole experience. Like if your showering feel the hot water running down your back, smell the soap or shampoo. Look how clean your skin feels. See the difference in your face. Use all the five senses.
Bad eating habits were a little harder to shift. Sometimes, all I could eat was Weet-Bix and Muesli three times a day. The smell, look and texture of other foods revolted me. I set another SMART goal. This time each day I allowed myself to eat Weet-Bix and Muesli at breakfast only. For lunch I ate three rice cakes with peanut butter and one mandarin or banana. It took a few days but I did it. Over time I also managed to eat dinner.
Exercise is proven to help the mood. Due to my energy levels and anxiety around leaving the house, leaving my safe dark cave bed, (my cocoon I called it). Going for a walk seemed impossible. I had to use SMART goals again. I broke down every action into baby steps. When I started walking again my first step was going from the front door to the letterbox and back, about 200 metres. I did this over a few days. I set another goal. Walk from the front door to the corner of my street. Again over a few days. Gradually over time, I was able to walk to the beach and back home. Were these goals realistic and achievable? Yes, they were. Did they at times cause me anxiety, yes they did but I managed them in a timely fashion breaking them down into measurable tasks.
In a depressed state, I stay in bed in a darkened room all day. None of this helps me shift my depression. It just feeds it. This is where the SMART goals helped me. I’m not saying it’s easy. That would be arrogant. What I am saying is it worked for me and I’m all the better for it.
Check out this link for more information about Smart Goals.
https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/goal-setting
I’ll leave you with one of my favourite Joni Mitchell songs. Have a listen.
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