Sad memories are beneficial as long as they don’t prolong a feeling of regret, guilt or grief.
It is good to grieve. We all grieve in different ways. Some grieve for weeks, months or years. It becomes a problem when we hang on to grief as if our life depends on it. It becomes a problem when grief becomes our dominant feeling for extended periods of time.
Grief is not a negative emotion but it can be a problem if all we are doing is feeling upset at the loss of a loved one. I’m not an expert on grief. I can only write from my personal experience. Having had a close family member die several years ago and another just recently I can recall what my feelings were.
They were feelings of loss and devastation. Feelings of bitter regret. Feelings of comfort knowing the people in question no longer suffered pain. Feelings of regret about things I could have done. The all encompassing feeling is one of loss. Never being able to touch, listen and watch that person again brings out feelings of desperate longing. Hoping, praying that I will meet with that person again after death.
My grief is not the same as others. It is personal. It is about my relationships and my memories.
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